Newest column for the Lantern, released today.
You can find it in its original context here: http://media.www.thelantern.com/media/storage/paper333/news/2008/04/09/Opinion/Love-Is.All.You.Need-3312608.shtml
Spring is finally here. There’s Frisbee on the Oval, people soaking up as much Sun as they can, horrible music blaring from the open windows of someone’s car and the inevitable spring fever.
For anyone familiar with Disney’s “Bambi,” spring is that magical time of the year when all species become “twitterpated” and hit the dating scene. It might be the local meat market, one of our humble bars, someone you notice in class or that special someone you had your eye on all winter. The outcomes are inevitable, but for the not so faint of heart, you just might end up ensnared in that mythical trap known as puppy love.
Love in all measures of the word is far too heavy. Definitions extend to every facet of our cultural spectrum.
Scientists used to avoid the subject and some blame chemistry. Could such an outstanding idea, which affects our entire person, really rely on a few simple hormones?
We often see love exemplified in the media under the “sacrifice” umbrella, but this concept makes a great movie. Who would pay to see the hero and the heroine settle down and argue over something domestic or realize it was all lust and split up? Real-life stuff only looks good on reality TV.
The point is there are more facets to love than its safe dimensions, which have been combed through by more doctors and psychoanalysts than necessary. The best way to get grips of it is to ask: Is love a feeling or an action?
When viewed as a feeling, I immediately think of the tingles and sweaty palms. One begins to wonder if this potential partner will fulfill their needs and what they can get out of the relationship. Attitudes like this can break up the relationship, because this is a selfish way to look at it. But if there are no grounds of attraction or desire, it can be difficult to care for someone else. The feelings part can be crucial, and this is only because as humans we are ruled by our perceptions and analysis of the things around us.
As for the second half, the action part, I consider this more important than feelings five times over. There is a saying, “character is what you do when no one is looking.” This is just as applicable here. Culturally, different religions consider specific acts (whether religious rites or otherwise) tokens of love and these hold high esteem. Think of chivalry or simple gestures. They often impact a person’s entire day and stick with them.
Love is one of those abstract ideas that will never be completely tangible. Perhaps when robots take over the world, a Nobel Prize-winning scientist will finally find the answer and inject it into a little pill. I think of the word “love” in the same way I think of “hope,” a word misused to the point the real meaning might be lost. But Voltaire put it best: “Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.”